Tuesday Twists – April 23, 2024

See this house? It was unexpected that I had the occasion to think about it today. This house was built in 1901, remodeled of course since then. It was built by my grandfather for my grandmother and what he hoped would be a growing family. HIs family did indeed grow.

The daughter of the oldest child is my first cousin. Even after my grandparents passed away and my cousin moved into our family’s home place, it was the place we always gathered. I almost cry when I say those days are over now.

The cousin who lived here was placed in hospice care today. She was elderly, but her illness came on quickly only a few days ago. She isn’t expected to live very long at all. Her life can probably be measured in days. Her husband can’t live here in his home alone since he has dementia.

My cousin and I were very different but quite close in our own way. I will miss her, just knowing she’s there along with the family gatherings in that old house.

The old home place will be sold after they are gone and the last of my grandfather’s beautiful farm will just be a memory. It was a very emotional day for me today, which is why I’m writing instead of sleeping in the middle of the night. First, I have to deal with my cousin’s demise and, at the same time, the fact that our family home will soon be forever gone. A double whammy of grief.

For people my age, these years are called the Golden Years. Tonight, in the throes of my grief-induced insomnia, I say not so much to that.

Do you have an experience with grief to share?

Friday Feelings – April 19, 2024

If there is one thing I’m good at, it is examining my own feelings. I usually do that when I spend time daydreaming. I’m pretty busy with practical stuff most of the time, but I do give myself time to sit and think – and, I guess, feel.

When I was a young girl and even into mid-life, I was good at sharing my feelings with my girlfriends and partner. As I have passed mid-life and am into my last quarter, I have become quieter about my own feelings and I listen more to others. You can learn a lot by listening. I don’t share a lot with anyone now except my partner. There are a couple of very long-term friends and we share our lives with each other, but not always our feelings.

My feelings about many subjects are complex and multilayered perhaps because as you age, you also gain wisdom. I’m surely not making myself an example of a wise sage or something similar, but I am more able to see different viewpoints and the complexities of situations more easily now than in the past. However, these days, I’m more likely to withdraw than discuss feelings, particularly my own.

My feelings about almost everything feel more private to me than ever before. I don’t know why that happens as you age, but it has to me. Maybe it’s because I know that everyone has their own set of problems and mine are no more or no less important than theirs. Maybe it’s because I realize that most people are just not that interested in knowing me, or any other person, that well. Maybe it’s a trust issue because by the time you approach older adulthood, you know who you can trust and who you can’t. Quite possibly, it’s all of the above.

The people who see me a lot know that I’m different now. I’m not as forthcoming or as open. I hope they realize that it is not due to a problem with them. Instead, it’s how to I seem to be approaching this last quarter of my life.

Yes, blogging is good for me!

The Unexpected Singer – #UnicornChallenge April 19, 2024

She was 20 years old the first time she heard him sing.

It was a normal weekend day. She was in her senior year in college and was studying for exams, sitting on the sofa in the living room. He walked into the living room with a Budweiser beer in his hand and carefully sat it down on the coffee table. He was in his work clothes, dirty from working overtime as the town electrician with a five o’clock shadow on his face and tired eyes.

She was hard at work at her books and had just looked up to say hello. There was no music playing, no television interrupting the quiet. She looked back down and continued to read.

Her head shot up when he started to sing. She listened for a moment. He wasn’t singing just anything. Without preparation, he was singing…..opera? How could that be?

Through her shock, she tried to place the opera and it was easy. He was singing a part of Don Giovanni in a beautiful baritone voice.

She had never heard him sing anything as simple as a lullaby. She couldn’t believe her ears.

Somehow, she knew not to go to him. She just listened. He sang the most beautiful music for what seemed forever but must have been just a few minutes.

”I don’t know what got into me,” he chuckled, as he started to walk off.

“Daddy, that was beautiful. Sing for me again,” she said as tears rolled down his face.

Thanks to C.E. Ayr and Jenne Gray for hosting the #UnicornChallenge!

Thursday Thoughts – April 18, 2024

Thinking about the benefits of the sea…….

Photo @ R.M. Carlson

I talked with one of my best girlfriends this morning. She and her husband are planning a short vacation to America’s Gulf of Mexico coast. The picture above is of the Gulf at sunset, looking west from the western coast of Florida. Hearing her excitement and then looking at my ocean pictures have caused me to long for the sea today.

I’ve never lived by the sea unless you count the year I spent teaching at the University of Porto in Porto, Portugal. During that year, I lived several miles from the coastline of Portugal, but I went to the sea often. A little later in my life, my husband and I spent the winters in Florida in the U.S. We had a small place just a mile from the Gulf and I went there daily just to sit by the sea.

I’ve always said that spending time by the sea heals my soul. I think I need some of that now! It turns out that there is scientific evidence that supports my theory. The sound and motion of the waves lapping against the shore can improve your circadian rhythm and allow you to sleep better. Spending time in salt water can moderate your blood sugar and improve your muscle and nerve performance.

Photo @ R.M. Carlson

The above photo is of the beautiful Mediterranean Sea in 2019. This shot is off the southern coast of Italy.

Salt water even rejuvenates your skin. It can heal minor cuts and scrapes. It is full of the mineral magnesium which is essential for so many body functions. Magnesium can cure migraine headaches and is beneficial in so many ways. It is almost impossible to get enough magnesium in a western diet unless you live by the sea and consume a lot of fish and seafood. Magnesium helps the heart function properly. It, however, is not plentiful in food and we often should supplement the right type of magnesium.

Salt water is also full of other minerals and trace minerals that are essential for good health. Minerals such as zinc, iron, and potassium along with a whole host of trace minerals are bio-available in sea water. No, you don’t have to drink it. If you spend time in the sea, your body absorbs the minerals.

I’ll talk about the many other benefits of the sea in other posts. Right now, I think I’m going to get better about taking my magnesium supplement and hope that a trip to the sea is in my near future! Does the sea make you feel better? What are the benefits of spending time at the sea for you personally? I’d love to hear your comments!

Wednesday’s Words

If you get to know me through my writing and these musings, there is one overriding thing you will discover about me. I’m always thinking and thinking deeply. I think they call it busy brain. It used to be that my brain was so busy I couldn’t sleep at night. But, I’ve learned to put myself in a state of Zen at bedtime and block out the roaring river of thoughts in my head.

What do I think about? I think about the minutiae of daily life and things going on around me in which I’m interested. I’m also a big picture kind of girl. I can see the big picture best when I think about global issues like world peace, poverty, homelessness, democracy, and the like. I’m not as good at seeing the big picture when it comes to my own life. We are not as objective about our own lives.

One thing I’ve discovered is that my generation (baby boomers) and younger generations (millennials, Gen X, etc.) have quite a different outlook on life. You would think I would have discovered this during the almost 30 years I spent as a college professor. But not so much. The generation immediately behind me was not so different from my own. Now, when I can look back more than one generation, I clearly see the differences and I think they are rooted in how our parents raised us. A second cause is probably technology.

How do you feel about this? Comments?

Changes – #FridayFictioneers – April 19, 2024

Photo Prompt @ Rochelle Wisoff

She stopped at a gift shop in the airport. She was looking for a gift for Amy, who she was going to visit.

Amy, her friend, wasn’t as welcoming as

usual. Amy didn’t seem herself and it was an uncomfortable visit. Amy was

critical and cold. She left two days early. After she got home, they didn’t

talk again. 

Several years passed. She ran into Clifton,

another friend from graduate school. She found out Amy had been diagnosed with

obsessive-compulsive disorder. Now she understood her criticism. 

Twenty years later, she still thought of Amy. The two friends never spoke again.

Thanks to Rochelle for hosting #FridayFictioneers!

#weekendcoffeeshare – April 13, 2024

Good morning and come on in! Join me for #weekendcoffeeshare #160! I”m so glad to be blogging again. I really enjoy the writing, but I also enjoy my interactions with all of you. Grab a cup of coffee and please join me for a catch-up.

Wild weather in my part of the world again this week. Terrible thunderstorms and wind. It’s spring here and the weather is always unsettled, but never quite as unsettled as it is this year.

The week started with the solar eclipse! We did not get totality here. We got about 96%. It was quite cloudy that day, but most of us still got a pretty good glimpse at the eclipse. I was surprised because it did not turn as dark as we expected. Quite an event! The University here has a space science division and very nice facilities including a large telescope. They invited the public to come take a glimpse and that was fascinating!

I’ve done a lot of work this week. A lot of writing. What is your current WP? I’m looking at ideas for two books. I don’t know, for sure, if I will pursue these ideas or not, but I like them both. It’s not about me, however, it is about the potential audience for my work. I have to undertake some market research to find out if there is a potential audience. I feel like I’m out of touch with what the public is reading for pleasure since, until recently, I was writing on contract in my field.

What do you feel the public likes now? I’d love your opinions!

I have some pics of my garden although Mother Nature seems determined to make this gardening year difficult. Our last frost date isn’t until May 15, so there is plenty of time left for her to kill it! I used to grow vegetables, but not now. Living in the forest does not let you have access to enough sunlight. There is also a tree here, the black oak, that drips sap that is poisonous to veggies. So, now it’s flowers for me!

Speaking of flowers, allow me to show you the progress of some of my favs in my flower garden! Here are the perennials just starting in my shade garden.

Siberian Bugloss (top) and fern (bottom)

Ajuga – a great shade groundcover

Coral Bells

Here are a few of my plants in another flower bed that get partial sun/partial shade.

From the front:

Hosta. Left of the hosta is a clematis. Immediately behind the hosta is two peonies. Behind the peonies and to the right, climbing, is another variety of clematis. Behind the peonies/clematis is an iris bed. The irises are slowly coming up. I have both Siberian Iris and Louisiana Iris.

Other flowering plants are in this bed that have not come up yet. It’s early spring here in the Kentucky mountains.

Thanks for having coffee with me and have a wonderful week!

Many thanks to Natalie the Explorer for hosting #weekendcoffeeshare!

The Runaway – #UnicornChallenge – April 12, 2024

The two boys hopped on the freight train as Cadot, the old Ojibwen man, watched. It was a dry, windy day, typical for these Dust Bowl days of the 1930’s in America. Even though the most profound effects were in the Midwest, most of the country was affected in some way.

The two boys were from a poor white family in town. They came out to the area around Cadot’s cabin near the railroad tracks to pick blueberries. Northern Michigan was renowned for its blueberry crop. The boys picked the berries for money to support their family.

After picking as many blueberries as they could carry, the boys would hop on a passing freight train and sell their blueberries at every stop. They would ride another freighter back.

One day, the older boy came to pick blueberries alone. Cadot asked where his brother was, and he replied that he had left home after they had fought. The boy was 15 years old. 

Almost ten years passed. The Dust Bowl was over, and World War II was firing up. Cadot had a visitor, and it was the boy who left home. He had come home to join the Navy. He had been sending his family money from Baltimore. When the boy left, Cadot grieved and didn’t expect to see him again. 

After the war was over, there was a knock at the cabin door. There stood the boy, now a man, home from the War. His seven-year-old daughter was with him.

Thanks to C.E. Ayr and Jenne Gray for hosting the #UnicornChallenge!

The Old Homeplace – #FridayFictioneers – April 12, 2024

Photo Prompt @ Susan Rouchard

The old house was going to be destroyed. Industrial development. She barely got there in time before it became a victim of the wrecking ball. 

They stopped work for her so she could retrieve what she wanted. She had to be quick. She ran from room to room, snatching and grabbing.

She ran into the nursery and there were her books. Her childhood lived in those books. One of the workers helped and she packed them up. Nancy Drew. Huckleberry Finn. More.

She loaded them in her car as the memories battered her brain. Thinking of her family, she cried.

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff for hosting Friday Fictioneers!

G is for Gerontology – #AtoZChallenge – April 7, 2024

Theme: Aging and aging issues

#AtoZChallenge

What is gerontology? Gerontology is the study of the social, cultural, behaviorial, health, and other aspects of aging and older adults. As the population ages, and the baby boomer generation is currently the older generation, the study of gerontology as a job gets increasingly popular. Gerontologists or geriatric specialists work in hospital settings and in private practice.

Gerontologists are advocates for older adults. The needs of older adults cannot just be lumped into one big category. They vary based on the health and gender of the individual. The needs of older individuals include transportation, medical care, living arrangements, legal needs, and nursing care, just to name a few. If you are an older adult and you have to enter a hospital, ask if they have a gerontologist on staff and have a meeting with that professional. You can also use the services of a gerontologist to help you plan during your older years. There may be gerontologists available for you, especially if you live in a larger community.

You can search for a geriatrics professional in your state in the U.S. by using this search engine. They can help you find an assisted living facility if that is what you want to do. They can also help you go through the process of moving into assisted living or even a rehab center or nursing home.

Take advantage of gerontology services when you are making plans. They can make the issues of aging more understandable and easier for you to navigate.